Sunday, March 22, 2009

Discovering the truth.

I'm not me without him.
I'm not happy without him.
I'm a blob in the world, a talking, walking blob.

I thought after 6 months, I wouldn't think about him as much, I couldn't care as much, I wouldn't love as much, but no, I think I think about him more, care about him more, and love him more now then I ever did when we were together. I've realized my mistakes and I've realized what I could have done differently.

I should have fought for him, for us, but instead all I did was cry to him. That's not fighting, that's being a little girl wanting to get her way.

I'm not strong. I'm not who I thought I was. I'm not sure I'll ever truly be okay without him in my life.
If he's reading this right now, I hope he can see how much I need him, how much I miss him. I love you and I know I will always love you, even on the worst days, I'll love you.

So maybe I have depression, but what's a girl supposed to do when she has no hope and the world is falling apart.