The little engine who could(n't).

I thought I could, I really thought I could, but I just can't try anymore.
I thought I had moved on from Jack or at least was on my way. I thought I could get by without thinking about him or whatever. In fact I've realized how big of a jerk he was and all the terrible things about him, but still, my heart longs for him. I miss him so much.
Tonight we were both at the same party, seeing each other for the first time in months. He ignored me and avoided me the whole night, I honestly thought things were better, that we could at least try being friends, but he still wants nothing to do with me. I wish I understood why. I wish I understood what I did. But I don't.

I'm breaking. And I think it might actually be worse than the first time.
I don't understand how everyone else is moving on and I'm still stuck here, wishing I had Jack back.

I hate my life.
I hate my feelings.
I hate being confused.
I hate everything.