I was on my way to the most beautiful place in the world. It was so close I could almost touch it. Little did I know, there was a huge black hole that I was about to fall into. I was so focused on that beautiful place 20 feet away that I didn't notice anything else.
I was sucked into the black hole and I don't know how to get out. The power of this hole becomes more and more strong the longer I am trapped here. The only way out seems to be time.
It's been 3 weeks since I've talked to Jack. I honestly thought that I was getting better and was going to be okay. I had people there to help me get through it, but then I accidentally confused my feelings with one of them and started to like them as more than just a friend. And then the world exploded. Literally. Everything has changed.
I went back to that day that my heart broke and my whole life caught up with me in that moment, and this time, there was no one there to save me. To help me escape that black hole.
If you've read this, then I need you. I need you every day, all day. And if you're up for the challenge, then please, let me know. Because I need someone here for me always. I can't do this alone anymore and I can't do this with people only here sometimes.
But first, if you're going to sit there and tell me that everything is going to be fine or yell at me about my way of going about this, then I don't want your help. I know that sounds rude and mean, but you just have to understand that you're going to be my influence and that's not the sort of influence I want.
I love you all. Thank you so much for being there for me. Are you up for the challenge?
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2 comments:
Courtney, I love you and care about you. You are amazing and I would love to accept your challenge. I will be here for you no matter what happens. I will be praying for you.
Katie Reynolds
This is alex, I know I dont know you that well, but do know a lot about loss. I dont really know whats wrong, but i can tell you that avoiding the issue and not thinking about it just hurts more. It will follow you and hit you when you least expect it until you become used to it, and think its gone. Don't be afriad to face the issue, and dont back away from it because it hurts. Face the hurt, and know that every bit of hurt you feel brings you that much closer to the end. You can either drag that hurt out over a long peroid of time, or face it and get it over with. I dont know if this pertains to your problem, but stop thinking about your loss, and be happy that it was ever there. People dont cry on their way back from disney world because its gone, they celebrate they ever went and cherish their memories. I hope this helps..
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